The Last Old New Yorker

MR. GO HARD

2012-01-24T18:04:00.005-05:00

Once again, Im back from a hiatus. For those who know me, know I like to vanish for awhile and for the ones who dont, I pop in and out, but I always come back with a good story or two. Life moves a fast past and sometimes for me, I just cant keep up. Even being from NYC where I live my life 1 NY minute to the next at such a fast pass the rest of the world has a hard time keeping up. Even I fall behind in the rat race we call life, but some times you have to take a time out to reflect. With everyday that goes past, The Old New York I once knew is becoming further away in my rear view as I move further on down the road. Dear old friends are gone by death who are New York legends who will NEVER be forgotten. But life goes on with or with out us.

As I sit idle with time on my hands away from home during the week for work, it leaves me with the voices in my head, yeah we all have em. Im not nuts, ok may be a little, but you have to be some what crazy to get through life and understand what its about and with that said let me get right to it.

Recently I/us have lost a very IMPORTANT person and I say us because he was loved by so many people and has played a BIG part in shaping the 90's as to what it was growing up in NYC. As a young kid with no home to go to, I would go to w.4th street and meet up with all the RFC heads. I felt safe and I had others to break night with. The one thing I didnt know was that I was about to take the lessons learned in the street by my mother to the next level. Now I was no dummy in the streets being that I have been in them since Im 9 years old coming from a mom who smoked crack, shot dope, popped pills and the list goes on. I was about to learn from my peers what they had learned in the street and in return teach what I knew. We were all seasoned vets by the age of 13 which I cant even fathom when I think about the things we were doing then. We were all out there in these streets hustling along side the grown men and we were just as bad as them as well. Talk slick and niggas buck 50 ya face real quick. That was not me & Im not even gonna front like it was, but I was there went shit went down and threw joints too.

May my brother ARK BUTTA'S 911 rest in peace. The first to set it off and last to run. Becoming friends, rather family with him, I never knew it would be a blessing. Through him I have grown stronger by watching his actions. ARK was a man of his word and fearless. I never met anyone like him to the extent that he was. I dont think he was ever afraid a day in his life and thats the truth. He had the talk and the walk of a Old New Yorker like no other. ARK could back down 20, 30 niggas and this is no lie. Those who knew him know Im not lying. Yo, they dont call him Mr. Go Hard for know reason. He went harder then anyone I knew. You would be in a club and he would rack bottles, yes more then 1 from behind the bar. Then ARK would son the Mexicans who worked in there to bring ice, juice and glasses so we could pop them bottles in the club. Mean while ARK had 3, 4 stacks in his pocket. Its just what he did.

So through my brother ARK, I learned a lot. Especially how not to be afraid and stand up for my self no matter the situation. ARK you are deeply missed, but far from forgotten. There are too many of us around to let your name die. ARK you have made your mark on life and have carved an unforgotten legacy out of life with your orange box cutter. I know your in a better place roaming free, but by being selfish, I and many others wish you were still here even if you are running everyone over in your wheel chair. Hold it down up there for us along side Harold, Sedi and the others we have lost.

Time is too short, dont let it pass you by because it will. Let the ones you know and love, know that you love them before its too late. If you knew ARK, you know he would want you to go harder then ever in your life and thats in a good way, as his sister would put it. Forget about him in the streets and what he has done. He has inspired friends to get their G.E.D. and so many other good things to become better people. So remember him by going hard and sharing the stories you may have. It should not have taken his death to make me write again, But when one door closes, another opens. Trying times and adversity is what makes you a stronger person as long as you push through and believe. So in the words of ARK BUTTA'S... "GO HARD".

P.S. the Picture is not mine. It does ARK justice so Im using it. Props to the person who did it.

Good Ol Fashion NYC Fun

2011-05-07T19:32:00.007-04:00

Living in the New York we live in today, there are not many consistencies left from the New York I love. How ever there are a few things that are still consistent and graffiti would be one of those things. Graffiti to me is one way Old New Yorkers still exist, kinda like "if your going to move me out then im not going w out a fight" attitude and thats what I love about it. I can remember in 85 moving back to NYC from L.I. and man it was an eye opener & a half. It was a sensory overload with the music I was hearing and the graffiti I was seeing. I knew nothing about it, but I knew that this was what I wanted to be apart of.

Growing up on the UWS, the first writers I met was

Kel 1st & Mare 139. It was cool because at the time I had no clue who they were. I was 10 and I had know clue what I was about to get my self into. Then I met this crazy white boy who was about 15. He was trouble from the start, but he let me roll with em and thats all I cared about. Life was fucked up with a moms always fucked up on dope and so this became my escape. So I rolled with this kid Chooch 156. Through him I met most of the 156 crew and kicked it with a few of them. Omni 156 has always been one of my favorites of all time. By the way even a true writer is a fan of some before him. Any ways, graffiti is not the same to everyone who is involved. For me it was always about going on the mission, going places and seeing things that you are not normally privileged. Through the years I have seen a lot change. When I was growing up, Your graffiti career would end by the time you finished high school, Now graffiti has become a grown mans game. Its kind ill to see where are priorities lie at the age of 35 and some niggas that still kill it are older.

If you look at the writing on the wall, you will see EASY tags, Now thats a blast from the past. This man and his crew changed the whole street bombing game for ever. Now all of a sudden outta no where EASY has taken over one more time. Seeing them EASY tags really floats my boat for the simple fact that it takes me back to the 80's and man do I love that time frame.

Over all the whole graffiti game has changed in a lot of ways, but never the less its still here and it is not going anywhere anytime soon. People even come from out of town just to paint NYC. Graffiti is definitely a staple of New York and has played a major part in shaping Old New Yorkers lives in many ways. As for me it will always be apart of my life in some shape or form. Its an addiction that cant be shaken for some.

As much as I love this shit, there is a lot of shit that I do hate about it. The respect of things and the aspect of it all is not the same. I use to love to go racking for all my shit because thats what you had to do to get supplies. This means fat caps and all that and that was part of the whole fun of it. There was no ordering that shit online like you do now or special made paint just for graffiti. You had to be crafty son, it was a trade just like a shoe repairman or a locksmith and if you was gonna succeed in this game then you had to learn & be good at it. This was all the fun for me, every thing you did leading up to your actual mission. Although it has changed, I am very happy it is still here. Its the one thing you will never get ride of. Keep bomb'n then streets son!

An Old New York Event

2011-04-28T19:08:00.005-04:00

Recently I have met someone that I grew up with in my life through his music. That would be G-BO THE PRO! One thing thats Old New York is mix tapes & its something that has played a big part in shaping the 80's & 90's. My favorite mix tape by far is Dj Rei Double R & G-BO The Pro, but there are many more that has done there thing as well.

If you know about this era, then you know what the 80's/90's music means to an Old New Yorker. For me, its like the bible. Its the music that has shaped me into a strong man and to be able to make it through rough times & places.

So you know this show is going to be a treat & half, right!. As a Old New Yorker this shit is a MUST SEE, theres no better way to revisit them days then a show like this. Let them take you down memory lane and make it feel like back in the day one more time. Peace ...Old New York.

No Longer A Place But An Emotion

2011-04-04T22:51:00.006-04:00

See the Old New York that you always here me talk about is gone, but a lot of Old New Yorkers are still here even though are beloved city is dead & gone. So now Old New York has become an emotion, a state of mind now more then ever. Ya know whats crazy? As I am sitting here writing this, Im watching Iron Mikes show on Animal Planet about flying Pigeons. Now I do not know where it started, but I do know thats some Old New York shit. I just wanted to watch it because it was about Iron Mike, but I got a nice surprise. The show is chocked full of Old New Yorkers & their attitudes. I fucking love it. So for that BIG SHOUT OUT TO IRON MIKE! As I was saying, You fuckers have taken the Old New York away, but you cant take the Old New Yorker away from the person. We just LOVE this place way too much plus I think its a DNA trait too. An Old New Yorker has a way like no other. The walk is one of a kind along with the talk & attitude, we own that shit and dont forget the sarcasm on top of it all. An Old New Yorker does not have to be a person that is born here, Shit most of us come from all over the world. It is NOT a life style, but a way of life and most important, its something thats in your heart and drives you in your life. This is not something you can imitate or fake jacks with kid. You could lose your life behind it. That how real this shit is. People think we are rude, mean, assholes, and heartless. Yes this is true, but to a point. See, we do not have the time to be nice to everyone that comes along. If we did this, it would put us in a place to be vulnerable to the ones who deceive and scam. There is a place and time for everything & when it comes down to it, we always help out our fellow New Yorkers. Us as Old New Yorkers have some of the biggest hearts you will ever find. This comes from the things in are lives that has made us an Old New Yorker. Some of the things that has made me an Old New Yorker would be first off my Blood being that my mother & father are Old New Yorkers, Hard Core in the street New Yorkers. My mother has taught me a lot of bad things first hand, but to educate me on the streets and to steer me away from all of that. Then comes the broke down foster care system (Little Flower) that I was placed in at the age of 4 where I beat, starved, locked in the closet for days and a lot of other bad shit to go along with it. All except sexual abuse thank God. The public school system has given me a chance to socialize with my peers and a chance to build with others and learn about my culture. For others who are not from here, there trip to NYC to follow there dreams and make something for their families & them selves brings a long road of obstacles to over come. Not being able to speak English and maybe having to live in the street when they first arrive here in NYC, but many push through and accomplish what they set out to do with hard work & dedication and because it was possible back then (up into till the late 90s). It takes a certain kind of person to become a New Yorker. One that is strong willed and determined no matter what. These days New Yorkers are definitely not made the same. We have become a breed of people that are cut from a fine clothe that is no longer available and are population is growing smaller. The rules of NYC have changed from what they were when I was growing up which in return has restricted us from being New Yorkers. Its like taking an animal out of the wild and placing it in a Zoo to live now. You lose your edge and your senses become not as sharp. The ability to shoot a fare one is gone and this was crucial. When you were able to duke it out, it did a number of things. First off at the end there was not a loser because you got the respect for standing up for your self also most of the time now that beef is dead. It also allowed us to straighten out others that stepped out of line. As long as it was kept to the fists, the Boys did not get involved. Just so you know. You will never be a New Yorker, because you moved here to use my city as a status symbol or because you thought Sex & the city was how it really was. You may have taken over the city and changed it around, but you will never be a TRUE NEW YORKER! Its just not how it works. The kind of time, trials & tribulations you need to put in is just not there for most for you to go through so that you can fully understand my city. Now there are some that do get passes, but thats only because some one has brought them in and let them be down by law! So for the rest of you trying, just coat hanger your self, call it quits and go home because I or we as Old New Yorkers dont want you here. Those who do want you here can leave with you as well. Fuck a non New Yorker, I could care less about how you feel so put that in ya crack pipe and smoke it bitch!

That Old New York Shit

2011-03-30T23:22:00.006-04:00

This one here is for the love of the Old New York & the ones that love this place as much me. There are a lot of things that are gone and a lot of shit that we as Old New Yorkers use to do that we just cant do anymore. As a kid, I always road in between cars with my Sony sports Walkman on blast pumping some Gbo The Pro mix tape or Doo Wop shit. From time to time you could catch me burning one down between cars with my people. I use to love & still do ride the back of the last car on the outside, but you just cant do that shit any more. Yo as kids, we use to do some dumb shit in the streets for fun and to just past the time. My man Marc & I got a hold of some epoxy shit and we was gluing the receivers to the pay phones down so we could watch people get jerked as they picked up the phone. Yo it was funny to us as kids, but what was more funnier then that was while we were in are process of gluing one phone on B'way and 74th it rang right after we hung it up. See now back in the days the pay phones use to ring back and the Bindi's in the news stand boxes use to use them shits as there personal phones. So as we were done doing are thing, the phone rang and the dude in the box came out to answer it. Now this is happening on a cool fall day so when the Bindi answered the phone, he must of not felt the glue on that shit. Plus he got a turban on with the chin strap and all that hair as well. While this is happening, my man and I are playing the corner like OH SHIT! Is this really going down? We stayed and watched. When he was done with the call, he was stuck to the phone and could not hang up. When we realized this we started to fuck with him by taking his candy like picking and choosing what we wanted. Mean while this dude is watching us as were taking his shit and we are laughing at him. Yo that was some crazy shit. Oh well! The stories go on & on. From Joy riding Yellow cabs uptown & back to cop trees and shit to throwing all kinds of shit off the roof or out the window of our buildings. My favorite shit was going to the Deuce to B'way Arcade to play video games and Play Land. Now that I think back, that was not the safest place for an 11 yr old to be at night. But when I was 11 I didnt have a care in the world and I went everywhere in NYC. You know whats crazy? Times now are more safe then the Old NYC days, but I think then it was safer for kids to be in the street then it is now. That shit bugs me out right there! As a kid we all hung out in the school yard. We spent our money on video games, nickle & dime candy and garbage pale kids. That was my shit, fuck'n Graffiti Pete son. One thing you couldnt do was ride your bike alone cause yo shit would get took. I know from all the bikes I got robbed for and all the dudes I robbed for there shit too. Times was rough then, but more comforting to me. Buying drugs out of abandoned buildings, shooting galleries, hookers on 11th & 12th ave and marching down avenues 10 to 15 deep just bombing the streets. Nigga's would be running like roaches to catch a spot on the gate just to cop a tag. Its all so crazy. If I wasnt there, I would think I was making it all up. True story. We really use to wild out in the streets as kids with pea shooters and wrist rockets braking shit and fucking people up as well. Yup, no bueno! But as kids we didnt have a care in the world. Yo how many of you made pea shooters out of ya moms hair rollers or cut up a quarter water? Dont lie! Or who knows about the Magic Dollar? We were crazy son like a 40 of Crazy Horse. Yeah meng! Those were the days. No doubt hopping the train was nothing to us, its how we got around or riding the back of the bus on the out side. As kids we lived a thrilling life with less consequences then kids now. With cell phones and cameras everywhere, you cant get away with shit anymore. Big bro be watching like a motha fucka! I miss seeing the girls jumping rope. What happen to that shit? I guess these young girls got too much titties & ass these days to jump rope. Anyways if you was there then you know what im talking about. Oh yeah, another thing I miss was if you was not from a hood, didnt know someone or had no biz there then you just didnt come around cause you got jacked or beat up. These days the hipsters walk by like they are taking a tour of the hood. SMFH! Well thats all for now my people! Stay up & stay strong.

Old New Yorkers Are World Wide

2011-03-22T21:10:00.005-04:00

Today I've come to a realize that no matter where an Old New Yorker moves to, he or she at some point will return, its only a matter of time. Another thing would be no matter where you put an Old New Yorker, an Old New Yorker will always stand out & not be changed by his surroundings. I have lived all over the world & everywhere I have been, people always ask the stupidest fucking question and that would be "are you from New York"? I cant help but think of the rudest thing to say. I mean I only have an accent as thick as cream cheese to begin with. Not to mention the way I walk. I mean come on, we all know that people born here in NYC have a way about there walk & talk like no other. Now that I think about what I am saying, I realize everywhere I have traveled to, I have always ran into someone I know from NYC or someone who has a friend in common. Its crazy and it just blows my mind. In 2000 I was in Honduras while in the the Navy. One night I was at the bar on the air base Soto Cono and I happen to literally bump into the person behind me. When we turned toward one another, it was nuts because it was someone I knew from Hells Kitchen NYC. It was my man Jr. I had no idea he was in the Marines and He had no idea I was in the Navy. All we could talk about is how we missed NYC & how we have not been back in quite some time. As a real New Yorker we will always make are way back to where it all began for us. New York City, also we will always be able to seek out other New Yorkers where ever we go and bond. The only thing that sucks this day & age would be if you leave in these years to come , you risk losing a whole lot unless you return with lots of money to start over.

FOR THE RECORD

2010-12-05T19:18:00.004-05:00

Based on shit that I have seen & heard in the last few years makes me really go hmmmmm, WTF! What Im talk'n bout is all you Motha Fucka's who have missed the boat by 18 years on all that Lo shit. While the cats who rocked Lo for real was rock'n Lo, the rest of you (Polo band wagon dicks) was wearing Tims & hoodies w fatigue jackets and that in it self was a dope Old New York style alone. I just dont get trying to be down with something after the books have been closed on it. Its like if I just started to break dance and then last week I get thrown down with RSC and now Im going hard, RSC RSC RSC blah blah blah. What I am saying is this.......... If you were not there from the door of the movement, you need to just stop fronting. I see all you fronting ass motha fucka's ebaying the shit out of Polo, and the sad shit about it is your buying shit just because it says POLO real big on that shit. Well guess what? The shit you bought was not a big piece or anything special. Plus you corny fuck's are paying out the ass for some of these things that are not worth anything. See, a nigga who is Bout It Bout It with this Lo shit is a nigga who boosted his shit, beat another nigga in the head by doing deals or stuck yo ass up for your shit. Niggas who racked there shit was outrageous wearing there shit. Wearing 2 collard shirts, a knit with another sweater wrapped around your waist with a jacket on and so much other shit, it was outta fucking control. Head to toe in LO, Thats how we did it. Wearing all that shit equaled to wearing your trophies. The more you had, you figure it out. People now, come out the house with a knit on and thats it. Talking like there Lo heads for real. Ill tell you, that shit is a bag of laughs. At this point all this Lo shit is week too me. If you can just patrol ebay for what ever you want then whats the point. Imagine if everyone was able to get ahold of a Spiderman #1 comic, what would it be worth? Back in the days you really had to work hard for what you had and on top of that, shit didnt last long on the shelves so it was even harder to find somethings. A true nigga knows that what they have in Macy's is not the same in Bloomies or Sak. Ralph (Lauren) Lipshitz for you's that dont know, He scattered his shit all over. You might come across some shit you got, but in another color and be like Ohhhh Shit! Not everybody got the eye for this shit. There is a lot of history, info and knowledge to this shit So if you dont know, go learn ya shit. People have gotten hurt bad over rocking this shit and stripped naked in the streets. So the next time you go to a 1992 party fronting like your down, Think twice before you get your snot box rocked & yo shit took'n home boy!

1992

2010-10-14T18:43:00.004-04:00

Yo, all I here about is the 80's this & the 80's that. At this point, the 80's have been raped, slayed & milked for all its worth. THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS ABOUT IT! Don't get me wrong, I grew up in the 80's long enough to know whats, what. At this fucking point, McDonald's and every other mother fucka in line has made out by doing something with the 80's. What I'm Trying to say is R.I. motha fucking P. to the 80's. Those days are long past us. Now I'm not saying lets fore get about the 80s, just that we should let it rest for a minute. The 90's have got no shine & let me tell you SON, the 90's was the bastard child of the 80' and hint of the 70's for some of us. With a mean lesson on life from my Mother who was an Ace in the mean streets of good Ol' New York, I was well prepared for a life in the hard streets of the 90's. Since I grew up with out a Mother & Father, I needed to fend for my self. The streets of NYC in the 90's was the meanest free for all you can imagine. I look back on that shit now and I just cant fathom it being the way it was or me doing the things I did. HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET AWAY WITH WHAT WE DID! Wait, not all of us did. Some are just coming home from jail now. Any way's, the streets were a free for all because of Dinkin's. He had to be the worst Mayor ever, but as a kid I loved it. It meant I got away with everything. The cops did not fuck with us as kids unless it was for real for real. Back then in the 90's I found my self always in the Vill. I met a bunch of other kids from so many different walks of life by spending all my time downtown. Although the walks of life varied, we all had one thing in common and that was not a very good home life. Some were drawn to the Vill and are circle of life just because we were just so bad. We did not listen to anyone, we took what we wanted and did as we pleased. The youth today have no clue how easy they got it. If you had something nice on and someone liked it. Guess what! Run ya shit money. If someone wanted your shit, chances were you were coming up out of what ever it was you had on. Shit was so easy to get over because of the lack of the technology then compared to now. Also because crime was so bad, lots of less shit slid through the cracks. As always, we were about 50 deep or more on a friday night walking up 6th Ave. to the Lime Light, along the way we stopped into a corner store and it just got out of hand. Normally everyone takes shit in a sneaky way where know one see you , but for some reason EVERYONE just started grabbing what they wanted and walked out. The store owner really could not do much. As we left the store, all 50 of us continued to walk to the Lime Light. About one block up from the store, the cops jumped out from everywhere like if they was the fucking S.W.A.T. team. They came out of yellow cabs, Ford Explorers and all kinds of other shit you could not imagine. I told my 2 friends to just keep walking like if we didn't know anyone cuz we were the only 3 white kids in the bunch, but that did not work. Next thing I know I get kicked in the ankle By some DT looking like a young Archie Bunker with a cigar in his mouth as he is pointing his service revolver at me. He tells me "hey kid where do you think your going, get against the wall over there". So I did as he said. The boys had all 50 of us on the wall and we were all shook cause half these kids already had a hand full of open cases. As I'm on the wall with my boys, were talking about what's gonna happen and what we should do with the shit we took and as we are talking about this, my man Sunny is dropping the Rollo's one by one on the floor. I decide to look down and I see all the fucking Rollo's rolling down the side walk right to the back of the Cops foot. Then the Cop looks down and says" AYE! what the fuck is going on ova here, who's shit is this"? Hearts dropped as it all unfolded, But nothing happen. The only concern was that the Store owner called the Cops saying he was robbed at gun point and that never happen. So we were all let go and on we went to cause more trouble. That was the 90's for you. Everything that happen in the 80's, pretty much happen in the 90's but more extreme. From steeling shit to graffiti to scams and schemes. My favorite shit was doing the 3 card Monte shit cause no matter which way you sliced it up we had suckas going to the ATM thinking they could win. Then there was the magic dollar. Thats a dollar with a long tail on it thats a strip of clear packing tape so that you can yank your dollar back out the vending machine after you get what you want. Like I said, the 90's was a free for all. This was a time when economically NYC was not good and the people ran shit in the streets. The best shit was Cops didn't go by a book. They went by being an Old New Yorker. Meaning they knew how to feel out a person and then take it from there. This day and age, the Cops just follow rules to the T and sometimes some people really do need a brake or deserve one. And now I hate the New York it has become. Its just a place thats so impersonal now. So with all that said. FUCK THE NEW, NEW YORK. R.I.P. NYC.

Emotions Of An Old New Yorker...

2010-10-11T22:31:00.009-04:00

With the changes of time, NYC has left me feeling quite empty. Friends have changed along with the way NYC looks and there is almost no familiar feelings left of this place. I guess the only thing I have left to hold on to is old memories, pictures & hand full of true friends that I have shared my growing up in NYC with. At least that cant be taken away from me. I have tried to except the way things are and that change is inevitable. The only problem is that I just can not buy into the BULL SHIT that surrounds me. Also by default of being an Old New Yorker, it is only natural for me to buck at the shit in life I just dont agree with and the way New York has become is horrible. There is absolutely nothing left that can genuinely sooth me in away like the Old New York did. When I was a kid, I would ride the trains for fun and now that isnt an option. The trains are so impersonal compared to how they were as a kid. I use to love the way the lights went off & on and how the express would rocket through the stations faster then you could imagine. You know, as a kid riding the trains made me feel grown and in a weird way gave me a sense of feeling confident. Riding between cars, throwing crazy late night parties in the last car unplanned. Hopping the train was a gamble, but it was always an adventure. Almost a right of passage as a youth growing up in NYC. In todays world all the fun has been removed form New York. The Old New York had character, soul & a heart beat like no other place in the world. We were feared by many and at the same time so loved. People were drawn to NYC for all the right reasons and that would be to make a somebody out of them selves. Man do I miss the edginess of the Old New York, the drab matte colors of cars and photos of the 80's. Something about it gave things a real feel for that time. It just made so much sense that pictures and things of color lacked that luster that things of money can buy you today. The drab went perfect with the burned down bronx and the rapid use of crack in a fucked up city that never slept and that the city almost went broke. But through out all of this, New Yorkers didnt let it get them done. Instead all types of shit was born from the emotions that was invoked on a broke city full of talent. From all of these emotions, the REAL New York was created. Since then, there has not been a movement like so. I feel like everything that has been created in the recent years will never stand the test of time. No new buildings are at level worth land marking in the future, the music that is made 10 years from now people wont remember except for a few. Nothing on t.v. will be made into re runs down the line like the Honey Mooners or Tom & Jerry. We all have something or another we like to watch that probably are parents watched as a kid as well. Sign of the times right! A very sad state it is. I find my self wanting to move so bad away from this place they dare to call NYC still, but like a train wreck I cant bare to leave like someone that just cant seem to turn and look the other way. Still you have to see the wreck for your on eyes. I stay in hopes of somethings not changing and holding on to the little that is left. At one point & time, there was not a place I couldnt go with out running into someone I knew. If you grew up here you know what Im talking about. In the circles I travel in, we are the who's who & we make the shit go round for others. We as New Yorkers use to set the standards for others and Influence worlds away. Now outta towners come here and set the standards for whats cool. I just dont get the tight pants still & never will. I wish we could be in the 90 so I can hand out a couple of beatings to well deserved people. That was one good thing back then, you could have a fight with someone with the hands and the loser just excepted it and went about there way. Today, you just look at someone wrong and there calling the cops. Even the graffiti in NYC is not NYC. I would say more graffiti done now is by a non New Yorker which is sad to me. We really have let are city slip away from us. I dont know any more what Im fighting for, but I just cant seem to give up on New York or at least the New York that I once knew. Old New York will always live on through me, my heart and a few others. I will pass what I have to my kids and hope that it can live on through them. Instead of I LOVE NY, I now LOVE TO HATE NYC. Sad, but true. FUCK YOU!

Membership Is Closed.

2010-05-07T12:05:00.005-04:00

Just because you live or have lived in NYC for a long period of time does not make you a New Yorker or an Old New Yorker. Being a New Yorker is more then just living here. Its a way of life, an emotion, a certain cockiness and a lot of other things to it as well. You cant just move here in your adult life and then become a New Yorker. When your an adult, you are set in your ways and you will not change. With that said your ass'd out for member ship, so just go back home and fuck your own town up. When you move to NYC as Teen, you adapt and slowly become transformed into a New Yorker whether you want to be one or not. Being a New Yorker is not a status symbol, its badge of honor plain & simple. The things we go through in life growing up in NYC is what makes us a New Yorker. If you dont know about the Duce, graffiti on the trains, what a subway token is, brown bagging a beer in the streets, Broadway Arcade, Uniques, the original days of Washington Square park, the World Trade before 911 & the first bombing, you are not a New yorker. I could go on & on but at the end of the day you know deep down inside if you are or if you are not and definitely if your friends are not from NYC then you are not a New Yorker. Also just so that we are clear, membership for being a New yorker has been closed for quite some time. Membership is closed do to the death of good old New York. When they changed the "DONT WALK" signs to a hand & a person, that was officially it. New York never did things for people from else where. We always did things are way and if you didnt like it, then tough shit son, keep it moving. New york has spawned a lot of things that take place all over the world and now because of it, New york is no longer an exclusive place to be. Instead it has become exclusive to those who have money and thats not what New york was about. New york was a place that you can come and make something of your self out of nothing. All you needed was a dream and some ambition which you can no longer make it in New York on just that. Everything here in New York has been changed in a way that the personality of NYC has been killed. You people who have moved here thinking "Sex In The City" was a reality & "friends" in the late 90's have killed NYC by driving up the rent and pushing out the natives. You will never be welcome here nor will you ever understand what NYC is really about. And Im not gonna take the time to explain it to you. Thats something you learn & figure out for your self along the way. Thats what being a New Yorker is all about, but like I said New York is so dead and gone so now you will never know what its about. When New york was at its worst, it was at its best and that'll only make sense to those who was here for it. You can call me bitter, an asshole, rude, a smart ass, sarcastic or what ever else you may think of, but I dont care and those are all traits of an Original New Yorker. Your truly, me. Born, bread & dead. Oh & by the way, if you read this to the one person in my life that I thought they would never do the things they did. GO FUCK YOUR SELF, YOUR DEAD IN MY HEART. have a nice day assholes!

Real Rent Reform

2010-02-24T05:45:00.007-05:00

If you are a native New Yorker, an Old New Yorker at that! Then this is information you need. We as natives to NYC are being pushed out on some bull shit so

that others who are buying the buildings that we live in can turn a HUGE profit. The owners of these buildings are pushing us out causing gentrification in are

neighborhood's which becomes the 1st domino of many. Now your local bodega & favorite pizza place is gone too. This all leads to a corporate America that

will not let the mom & pop store survive. The best thing about NYC, is the choices you have to pick from. In these local stores, we form relationships with the

store owners. They watch us grow up as we give them business and become like family to us. You are either apart of the solution by doing what ever you can

to help or be apart of the problem by sitting by and doing nothing. If you love your Old New York like I do then watch this video. You will walk away with

knowledge thats much needed. Did You know Sec. 8 is a contract with the state? And its about to be up. Landlords dont have to renew this contract and most

likely wont so where will this leave you. IN THE STREETS HOMELESS. Did you know that the members of the Rent Guideline Board are not even from NYC,

so why are they deciding are rent increases for us when at the end of the day, they go back to there nice lives upstate or else where and none of the decisions

they make effect them. Think about it. Someone close to me once said" Dont walk in front of me, I may not follow. Dont walk behind me, I may not lead. Just

walk beside me & be my friend." This is so true. So what I ask of you is to pay attention to the movement. Learn your rights and vote when the time comes.

Your apartment could be next. Thank you for your time.

Cruis'n With Suzan

2010-02-19T00:52:00.003-05:00

I can remember being about 9 yrs old and getting in one of these good 'ol checker cabs. Not only being inside one of these things was dope by it self, but the ride was a first of many things as well. I can remember getting in and seeing the jump seats inside and getting all excited and shit. Sitting in one of them seats is no joke. Anyways the ride it self was crazy because it my first time in a cab. The ride started at 78th & W.E.A and we got out down by Belvue Hospital. Along the way we cut down the West side Hwy right past the Intrepid. Man, was that some shit to see as a kid! Up until that point I only seen then shits in old Tin Can Sailor flicks in black & white on tv back then like on some channel 9 mid day movie shit. Well here that shit was in the flesh, plus the fact of being in the cab bouncing around in that little ass jump seat, holding on for dear life. Then the cabbie cuts across 56st to go down B'way. When we get to B'way down by the Deuce, all I can see is markee's with naked ladies on them. Also the fact that the city moves a million miles a minute was crazy too. It was a lot to take in all for the first time, but never the less it was a huge rush for a 9 yr old.

And that was only the first of many stories I have of cabbies in the Old New York era. Most of the stories I have are more like wars, for some reason its like oil & water with me and cabs. The shit that bugs me out about the whole yellow cab thing is this. As I was growing up in the 80's as a kid, the cabs were driven by True Old New Yorkers who were natives. After a while you saw an influx of Koreans driven the cabs in like 87 88 with a mix of Haitians as well. In the mid 90's the Habibi's started taking shit over. Did you see them fuckers in the movie Taxi or the tv show? Hell no you didnt! Now its just fucking nutzo with them.

One of my craziest stories I have is about a time when I worked for a place called The Bigger Picture, During the morning & at the end of the day I had a route to walk and pick up work that was sent out house to be done. It was morning so the work had to go out. I was on my way to a place called Color Edge. I would cut through a parking lot then across the street in the middle of the ave and the place was right there. When I crossed, there was a cab letting out a fare and so I waited to see if he would go and he didnt. When I crossed, he drove forward like he was going to hit me. He came pretty close so I hit his hood open handed with both hands for him to stop. When he stopped, fuck'n Shocka Zulu got out that bitch. The dude was about 6'4" and he was one dark ass angry Haitian. He walk right up to me and kinda backed me up as he said" WHY YOU HIT CAR"! Then the fucker karate chopped me across the chest & neck area. As he turned to go back to his cab, it all hit me late. I ran up on him, jumped past him and stole on him. It was all pure luck, but I caught him right in the jaw piece. You could see he felt like a punk after some punk kid crashed his face. So he chased me up the block and I was out. At this age I could run very well. As Im running up the street, I dropped some of the work and some one picked it up. I was like fuck. When I look back I see the guys from the place I was going to, come out. They were screaming on the cabbie for hitting me. So I go back over there. That guy who had the work I dropped was Like YO I got his shit and the guy from Color Edge comes over and snatches it, like Give Me That Shit. It was all crazy. The crazy shit would be when me & my boys would do the Larry on the cab. We would take the cabs every where and have them drop us on a block that when we run out he cant drive to chase us. Ive seen bike messengers fuck cabs up and all kind of shit. From Puking to joy riding them to fighting with them in the street to losing lots of money from being drunk, I have seen it all. To this day I hate them Motha Fuckers for sure. Even the info on the side of the cab has been changed to some GAY non New York shit. What ever these people get there hands on something, they fuck it up. Im not opposed to change, but you gotta be reasonable and preserve certain things. Fuck Them Cabbie's!

The Good Lo Days

2010-02-05T13:52:00.002-05:00

One thing I can say for sure about the Old New York I know about is that we always set standards for the rest of the world wether its music, fashion, dance or anything that has to do with culture. All over the world people copy what we do. Especially when it comes to shit like hip hop which is most definitely a BIG part of that Old New York flavor. Back in the day, I'd say BK was ahead of the game as far as niggas dress'n dip & shit and they was gully about how they got their gear too. Motha fuckas would bum rush stores and clear racks and run out with it all. I mean it was nuts, fuck'n straight nuts. Around 1992 I started hang'n in the Vill. This is when shit was crazy out there. Astor place was the place to go get hair cuts. I can remember going there just to bomb the bathrooms. For me that was a big deal. Back then the bathrooms had tags from dudes all over the 5 boro's. Around the corner was Uniques. They too was another place I was always thirsty to go and write my name on shit. They had these lockers in the front of the store that you would pass on the way out. It was covered in marker tags & stickers, just layers of shit. Further down B'way was a store called EMS and boy did we bang them out for all kinds of gear. Around this time (1992) A group of really young kids formed the ill squad of really young juvenile delinquents who came from all over the city to hang out & break night. I cant front, from these kids is where I learned how to rack shit. Up the back, down the leg, sleev'n shit and of course the good old fashion Lizzie bag. Most of you probably dont even have a clue of what Im talk'n bout Willis. Well what Im talk'n bout is boost'n shit like my name was David Copperfield. Now these Bk cats put me on to a lot of ways on how to get busy. As a kid with no real family and not a whole lot of nice things in life, I paid attention. I too wanted to be dipped in Lo from head to toe with the girlie's jocking as well. I'd be with these kids & see'm get busy and I realized that if they can do it, so can I. But when I got busy with it, I would go alone and play the preppy herb kid dressed like I was from the Upper East Side. No one would ever look my way and stop to think I was bang'n them in the head. My last year of high school was up the block from Macy's. Everyday I'd detour through the Lo section and something would get got by me. I also spent so much stolen money in there that the people knew me to spend doe in there so I really never had an issue with being watched. Its all so crazy to me now that I think about it.Whats even a lil more nuts is I be came really cool with this lady who ran the Lo section in Macy's, her name was Sharon and to this day she has no clue that, that sweet little white boy was getting over. Dam I feel bad and she still works there. I still see her to this day in there when Im shopping with my daughter, but now I can afford to pay for the things I want. A lot of stuff that I took from Macy's was always returned to Paragons downtown. They where hip to us boost'n in there but dumb as rocks when it came time to us returning shit for store credit. Im telling you we had all of this on lock, especially them Brooklyn niggas. They knew what time it was fo sho. Then there was a store called BFO on 5th ave. they was hip too to us racking, but clueless to us throwing shit out the window to others outside waiting for goodies to fall from the sky. Dam those was the days. Back then, nothing got paid for. It was a free for all from sneakers to clothes to paint & markers to food. Even going to the movies we did not pay. Ahhhhhhhh the good 'ol Dinkins days. Thank you Mayor Dinkins for letting us run wild through your city. Well my city, cause I had my way. We did so much bad stuff then that I look back now and cant even fathom how we all got away with it. Definitely a different time. Believe it or not, I still have a good amount of Lo from back then. That shit seems to be more popular now then before. Its outta this world the price that people will pay for some of that stuff now. Go look on ebay, you will see things selling for $3000 its bananas when the original price was like $298 for like a Snow Beach pullover jacket. Straight RETARDED! The one thing thats different now then before is you dont have to worry about getting robbed for your shit. Us as RFC or them Brooklyn cats as well, we would leave you in ya fuck'n skivvies in the street. They would take it all like vultures to a carcase. Now dudes from Japan & all over the country pay top dollar for that shit on ebay not knowing what it was all about. That whole shit was a movement that unless you was there, you'll never understand. It was also such a rush. I can remember going on spree's coming home with 2 to 3 G's worth of shit being like dam, how Ima tell my foster parents where I got all of this from. Fuck it, I didnt really care any ways. Well Now shit is not the same, but I have pictures, memories, clothes and friends to share them days with. Good 'Ol New York.

BLACK OUT.

2010-01-03T03:13:00.002-05:00

Ima start off by saying I am really tired, cold, emotionally destroid and find my self once again on a road to destruction 1 year later from the last melt down. Is it the holidays? Fuck the holidays! Its not for me, but I will par take for my lil one. Yo Im so fucking drained & cold, I dont know if Ima even make it through this post and Ima keep 100% in this post too! Not that I would ever give you anything less, but today you get the fuck'n bonus add on in ya face I dont give a fuck going off the deep end I want my cake & eat it now any ways what the fuck was I saying (as I sit here brick as fuck fresh out the cold w all 3 layers on, for real no joke Im very cold & Im home). I dont know what the fuck happen tonight. All I know is I wound up in a fuck'n triangle of hurt. I hope you got time to read this post because Ima bout to go in like a NAVY SEAL. Ima spare the juicy details of all real person shit, but 3 of the closest people in my life I now have issue's with & one of them is always my out when shit is rough. So with that said who do I turn to? EXACTLY! NO ONE. Let me ask you this! Do you feel like no one feels your pain, no one cares and I mean the ones that say oh yeah thats my niggah! Ya know I was always told, the ones closest to you is the ones that will hurt you the most. With that said this warm heart has turn COLD with no thawing out later. It has turned colder then this apartment and thats fuck'n cold son! Tonight I have realized a horror I never wanted to face and so I do. I ask you tonight or this cold ass morning rather, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO LIVE IN NY TODAY? Well Ill tell you, at this point more then I have that I can give and yes this FUCKING POST WILL BE ALL OVER THE THE PLACE cuz I can niggah! And yes I said the N word, so what! What fucks me up is I make fuck'n money! Good money, but the money I make now its like fuck'n.......... LOOK its like this, today's 50 to 70k job is like making 15 to 20k in the 90's. Who is this a recession for? Not people who have doe already. This recession has only made the rich more rich & the poor, more poor then ever. The rich keep along on the plans they had from the start which is to buy it all up and move you out! Now with all the foreclosures these greedy fucks are getting what they want faster and cheaper. JUST NOT FAIR! Boo hoo hoo just like me crying my fuck'n head off tonight (For real). WELL NO ONE FUCKING CARES! As I just scream'd that in my Sam Kinison voice. Sheesh tell me about it. Nah but for real, I just dont get it & Ima bout to explain! The beauty bout the U motha fuck'n S of A is choice & freedom. You like that right! well times that to 100,000,000,000,000,000 power (is that even a no.) if you live in the good 'ol fuck'n big apple. Yup Its true. Dam I almost lost site of what I was saying. What Im getting at is this........ I dont wont to live in a cookie cutter world with all these gay glass buildings where I can see you living your life. I dont want your ACME world & rules. Ive said it be for & I will say it again and again as much as it fucking hurts you to read it, hear it or see it. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT HERE, YOU CAN IT ANY WHERE (once upon of time that was true)! I love NYC for its choices, its many voices & faces and the taste it offers. From that awful taste cuz you just got ya shit took & snot box busted wide the fuck open to the taste of making it past all odds and proving you all wrong. So tonight I realized there is no melting pot here any more in NYC. There is only one, He is green & dead. And he is colder then the night is. I think this is the coldest night yet so far. People with a Voice are dead, caring about one another is dead, a working class is dead, New York being a place to make it from nothing is dead and fuck it Im dead too now. I will die fighting for New York City but I am dead inside, I have been sucked dry of hopes to make it further then I have and at this point this is where I write people off in my life and become stone. I will spare names but, you will all be my witness this morning. I can not fuck with you if you have tried to save face on the account of some one else making you reach out. People who only want want want & only give emotional grief at the end of the trade. People who complain shit is fucked up for them but got mom/dad or anyone they can run to for help in any way. Shit, all I got is a buncha broke friends that I cant even fall back on. And the friends that I got that can put me on, DONT! The list go's on so to all you mother fuckers out there, FUCK YOU! I tell ya fucko, for real..... at the end of this night before I decided to come home. The stop before that was fuck'n check out time, time to meet up with my Mama, but I had to pass for now because JoJo MoJo means the world to me. Let me ask you this! Is it fucked up that I can walk away from everything with out a blink. Like a light switch, you now mean nothing to me. NOTHING! I can turn my emotions off, just that simple! On all of you, every last one except JoJo MoJo. Never that. I love you baby girl. I always will & I will always make sure you are taking care of. Not on some morbid shit, but do you ever wonder who will come to your services when its time to check out? Well when it comes to mine, I dont think there would be enough room for all of you to come through. Im for real bout it, FOR REAL. Im the fuck'n Mayor of this 'Ol New Yawk Shid son. Who cares, not me at least. When I die just burn me & dump me. No grave, no viewing, no morning, NO NOTHING cuz most of you could care less about me now. TRUE STORY just like the shit I write about. I called it a while ago with the city getting bad and shit getting worse. Well its happening as we speak. Just like Ford to city: DROP DEAD! This Post has really taken a lot out of me to write, but this one means a lot to me. IDK , BFF Jonny Bravo! For you its good reading. To me, its the only way I can stop my head from hurting a little bit. Even when my wold is ok, its upside down with struggle, heart ache and beefs that are silly, but full of principle. As they would say in the hood, YO keep it real son. Keep it ahun'et kid and so I will. Id leave everyone one of you niggas behind in a blink if I hit the lotto. Except for a few of my niggas. True story cuz Stone Cold said so. Too cold to right anything else. With that said Fuck off & let me die in peace.

Change Does Not Always Work!

2009-12-15T14:53:00.004-05:00

Here today & gone tomorrow! For the moment I am back. As I was sitting on the couch the other night, watching the idiot box, I realized something. I was watching a show about some Italian man who has a very fancy restaurant. The man was well known for his place and he was a success at it. Further into the show he closed it down to open a new one. His son is suppose to be the one running things now. Long story short, they dont see eye to eye on things and fight how it should be. This made me think about Old New York. The father is set in his ways off the boat from Italy & his son sees things in a different way. For me this was the connection I made that kept me watching. The father wanted to stick to what he knew for many reasons. Even with some failures in the past, he knew what he had to do. His way had to do with things that are dear in his heart & things that meant the world to him. Nostalgia was the ticket for this man, but his son thought things had to be done a different way. We have to do this & we have to do that his son says. Everything his son wanted to do had to deal with a new way of life & accommodating a newer group of people. What Im getting at and the connection for me was I feel the same way about New York. NYC has been changed around to fit the needs of others & not the Old New Yorkers that are here rightfully so. In the show, the father did things the way his son wanted to do them and they failed opening night. 1 star was the out come for its reviews. Months later, the father changed it all around to his likings & his way of life. The next review brought him 3 stars. I guess what Im getting at is not all of us want the changes that are being made to the city, Of course I dont want to live in a shit hole, but do I want Targets & Papa Johns all over NYC? HELL NO! I say change is not always good. Added security measures all over that is a joke and all that does for us is make life a living hell. Plus its really not making us safer. I love the fact that they think they are really doing all of us good. You could leave a bag on the train or anywhere, no one says shit. The other night as Im working at LGA airport, a car sat the wrong way in traffic, crashed into a pole for 45 minutes and no one did anything. At the same time a lady laid on the floor having a seizure and when help was called the cops came instead of a ambulance. Then the cops called the medics to come. So here you have a new post 911 system that has been implemented that fails us as New Yorkers. So for this to be put in place, we lose out in other area's because money is pulled away for all this post 911 crap. Then shit doesnt even work how it should. The new shit is they want to start charging High school & below to ride transit. People can barely afford to pay for them selves to get on the train and now you want to charge students too. Its not like they are losing money when a student gets on. May be the MTA isnt gaining, but they are not losing out. FUCK ALL THESE CHANGES. Us Old New Yorkers are the blood & guts of this city. We drive the trains & buses, we pick up the trash, we do all the shit that the rich will not do. So now if you keep making it harder for us to live here, who is going to do all these jobs that keep the city flowing? NO ONE! The shit that kills me is that no one sticks together any more. Transit wants to bull shit us? fuck it STRIKE! No one wants to stick together and do things the old way. Well now we have to pay the price for it all. Change is inevitable, but it doesnt mean I have to like it. Im sure people born in the 60's hated the 80's and so on. So give me back the Red Birds with lights that flicker on & off. Give me back undeveloped areas where kids would go play and get into the trouble that youth got into. Give me back the chance to have fist fights and when they are done, winner or loser walks away. There's so much that is gone, it sucks. Never the less I am here for good till the death of me no matter what. This is my New York so dont be fooled by the hipsters, art fags & imposter's. There are a lot of us Old New Yorkers left.

My Heart & Soul.

2009-07-08T22:30:00.000-04:00

This is for my little girl thats not so little any more. This is for you Pumkin and only you as the rest may read along. I want you to know that there is nothing more important to me in this world more then you. All that I do is for you and no one else. You are first in my life what keeps me alive. I know that things are not as we would like em, but I want you to know I think about you every day, all day. Im wondering to my self what are you doing today? Because I know your up to something. Im your Dad and I know you well. I shouldnt be telling you this, but I am. When I talked to your teacher and she was telling me about the way you disrupt the class, I couldnt believe it. Then I remembered who your Dad was and saw me when I was your age. I love you Baby girl. I thought it was so funny that when you come back from the bathroom, you open the door, wait a second and then you go into the class because you know the whole class is looking to see who it is. J you are priceless and you are mine. I love the fact that you love the things that Im into. I love the fact that you ride a skateboard & you can draw. You couldnt ask for nothing more out of a kid. Im proud for the fact that you got a 4 on your city wide reading & math tests in school. You are a smart girl and you know it. I am making you a written promise her baby so that you have the whole world as your witness. I promise to give you more time. There is something I want to share with you. I think you are smart enough to understand the things I tell you so I want you to know this. Here goes, As you get older things get harder. If you pay attention in life as you do in school. You will learn lots of import things in life that will get you far. You are a very smart young lady at a early age. Also in life there can be many distractions. You must learn to steer clear and keep moving forward. Life is not easy as you see sometimes for your self. You must stay strong and push on. You control your destiny Baby girl. I will always be here to guide you in life and praise you as well. Please know that I love you like no other person. You make me proud to be your Dad. To have you as my daughter makes all the past pain in life worth every horrible minute. I Love You Pumkin Pie. Your Daddy.

Take A Look Through My Eyes

2009-06-24T22:48:00.001-04:00

Growing up in NYC is most definitely some next shit, but you know what? I wouldnt trade it for the world. The things I have seen growing up, you couldnt write a script any crazier then the what I have seen. From a early Year in life I have witnessed more then I should have. I have seen death, luck, disaster, love, hope and so much more. These are the moments that have shaped me. I can remember growing up on 137th & Riverside in the late 80's. Man was that shit gully as fuck. The building I lived in had to be the one where all the crackheads got high in the lobby. At least the apartment was huge. Insanely big. Now this was an ill place to live. One day on the uptown side of B'way by the train station, we were all sitting. It was me & bunch of friends. We were all meeting up there to go downtown that night. While we were all waiting for one more person to show up, we all seen some crazy shit happen. On the other side of B'way was a man closing his store for the night and a crack coming running by and jigged money in the neck with a screw driver. Why it happen, I dont know, but the dude was on the ground shaking. At least E.M.S. showed up quick. When I lived on 78th & W.E.A. I would hang out at the Soldiers & Sailors monument. This was in the late 80's as well. Some times I would break night there and sleep up on the landing . One night I was there with a friend Mikey. He had wanted to run away and so he did, why? I dont know, but we wound up there that night and we hung out with the older crowd that was drinking and getting high. I bumped into this dude Hang 10 that I had known from the neighborhood. We started to walk the streets and bug out then he was dieing for a coffee at 3:30 am Hang 10 decides HEY! Lets go to my job and I can get some coffee there. Well his job was being the Mngr of a tutti fruitti ice cream place. So he unlocks the store and we go in the store. I wound up eating all the ice cream I ever wanted and sleeping in the basement . I froze my ass off. That Was some real random shit to have happen. I can remember making a magic dollar. Yup that shit really was magic until people caught on. What it was, was a dollar bill w/ a tail on it that was about 2 ft long made out of clear packing tape. Now what you did with it was use it in vending machines. Then you would pull ya dollar back out get what you wanted plus the change. It was the best. Dam growing up, there was a code you could use so you can make free pay phone calls. You would punch in the code and then you would get the flashing dial tone and you was good son! Washington Square was dope back in the days and the whole village in the 90's now that was a crazy seen. You had the dude jumping 7 or 8 trash cans from one sk8board to another in the park. Fuck'n Unique's was the shit. I would always die to go there so I could write my name on the wall. Silly, but it was the case. St. Marks back then was just straight squatter city and the REAL punks who rocked the for real deal Mohawks. It was ill then. I use to love Walmen Rink when it re-opened in the late 80's. That was a blast, I remember my mother giving me money to by ice skates and after I took the train down there and got to the entrance of the park, I turned around and went back uptown to the U.W.S. to only spend that money on spray paint. I got my ass beat over that one, but there was this girl at the ice skating rink that I was so into. She was a real pretty Dominican girl named Vanessa and she actually liked me as well. With my luck it just didnt work out, but I got to kiss her and ice skate with her for about a month. Just long enough to have a nice memory. Man is NYC the best place ever! The Old New York that is. On the week ends my friends and I would go downtown to Wall st. and skate all day with out really seeing any people. It used to be dead, just nothing but kids skating all over the place. In my younger days we would take cabs places and just straight up do the Larry on'em. Sometimes we would take a cab all the way uptown to get trees and take the cab back downtown and then be out or stick like 2 dollar bills crumpled ur in the change spot and be out. I sure as hell miss being a kid in NYC back then. Making pea shooters and running around lacing people up with McDonald straws & popcorn kernels. We would spray about 100 at once out the mouth piece through the straw. Dam we were bad kids. Oh well, it has giving me xtra tough skin and a better perspective on how to look at things.

Trouble Maker For Life!

2009-06-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

Good Ol New York! Dam, what happen?Well at least I have memories that are vivid & life long lasting. I can remember the 1st video game I played, It was Asteroids. That was a wrap after that. Around the corner from my house on 78th & B'way was a laundry place, it had self serve and then dry cleaning. In the dry cleaning store they had video games in there. They had Spy Hunter, Excite Bike, Dig Dug & Elevator Action. I spent all my time in there as a kid. Thats how I met my best friend Marc (R.I.P.). He had moved here from Germany and his moms would give him dough to play games while she went to work. She worked for a place called Harmony Theatre. You figure it out. Anyways me & Marc kicked it. The day I met him I flipped em off and he had no clue as to what that ment. I found it to be the most funniest shit ever. Us becoming friends was the beginning of going to hell in a hand basket on fire. Him & I got into a lot of trouble. One day a man was selling books on 77th and B'way. Back then it was a Love store that he was selling his books in front of. So Marc & I went up to the roof with a box of water balloons and did the unthinkable, we through the water balloons at the mans books. Then to make matters worst, we went down and looked at his books in person in front of him like we were gonna buy something laughing are ass' off. I dont know how we didnt get are ass beat then or for all the shit we pulled. Marc use to live in the Belclaire Hotel. The place was a shit whole half way. Half of it was residence & half hotel. The kind of people that stayed were hookers from the 20's on 10th and 11th ave. Dudes who sold crack and many other low lives mixed with good blue collar people. The place was set up like an S.R.O with shared bathrooms. The roof was the best thing about that place. In the winter it was snow balls and the summer it was water balloons. On New Years & the 4th, it was fire crackers. Dam, we were bad! I can remember being like 11 or 12 and going to Canal st. to buy fire works. Most of the shit we got was from me swiping shit from the old ladies that be out there. That shit was nutz. You know how it be out there now with people selling the fake bags on he corners and the fake Tiffany shit? Well thats how it was with the fire works, except they laid shit out on a blanket and scooped it all quick when the Boys would pass by. Its crazy how somethings are gone and other stuff has stayed. As I got older I got into more trouble, but it was always fun. Marc and I were out late past the time we should've been out and we came across these big industrial size laundry boxes of detergent . There were about 8 of them. Marc went to West Side super market just a few blocks away and took shopping cart. With these big ass boxes, we went to the fountain in Central Park by the rowboats and at night its shut down. At this point we empty all the boxes in there so in the morning when the turned it on, it made a shit load of bubbles suds. It also made the news. Man those were good times. Some other shit we did for fun was glue the pay phone receivers down so when you picked up, you couldnt. We used quick drying epoxy that work good. This one day we were out gluing phones, we glued this one phone that was on 74th and B'way off to the corner of Fair Way. The thing we didnt know was that the phone was gonna ring, just as I answered it, I glued it and some one asked for the Hindu at the news paper stand. I told Marc and he called him over and said PHONE! So I gave 'em the phone. It was a cool fall day so I guess when he took the phone he didnt notice the glue with all the hair on his face. We waited and then it happen, his left hand was stuck to the receiver with his face glue to the jack. We cracked up as he panicked. We took his candy while he watched. I know this was fucked up, but we didnt plan it that way. It just unfolded not in his favor that day. The list goes on and on. I look back now and try to imagine all of that. I cant believe how bad I was. Oh well! I didnt turn out bad at least as a person.

P.S.87 Gang

2009-05-27T13:16:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I come across this picture with me in it and it really blew my mind. Along with this picture came another treat and that was a chance to connect with 2 friends from 3rd grade who I thought I would never talk to again. In the past all I have been writing about is me and how shitty things have been, but now Ima bout to take it back. 1986 fresh out the foster care system & finally back with my mom. It was a whole new world for me. When I was in all these different homes, there were all in the sticks so I had no clue about NYC at that time and all the shit going on in the streets. I was a fragile lil boy scared to death. When I moved back to my hood, the UWS, it was bugged. Things was real good. My mom was good and I was happy. My zone school was P.S.87 & what a dope school it was. It had a huge wood park and a big open school yard. The thing that was so fresh was after school you could find a lot of us from the immediate neighborhood there playing, riding bikes or just chilling with some of the older local kids that have shaped me into the man I am to day. Shouts to the whole 80th st. block. Jonny, Cynthia, Keith & Law, Pops, Amo and many more, But to my best best friend at that time Dee Lynch. This is his picture Im rocking with so thanks Dee for the treat. Through these older kids I became the artist I am today. The one's in the picture was the only kids that let me play games and was cool with me. Dee, Ronnie, Tyson, Chris and Desmond. The kid with the glasses I have no clue. Dee and my self use to hang out all the time and chill. we would ride bikes and I would go to his house. Him and his mother were real cool to me in a time where people were real mean and fucked up about my personal life with my momz. I cant tell you how much that meant to me then and even now. Thanks Dee. As for Ronnie, I remember my first day of school being crazy and then after lunch when we were going into the building from the school yard, I dont remember why, but he punched me in the gutz! Its all good Ronnie we were kids then and you have been forgiven a loooong time ago. Chris was a laid back cat who could really draw well. I remember him drawing Optomus Prime and all the other transformers to the Tee. This kid was nasty with it. Ronnie use to like the graffiti shit I would draw, that was my thing more so. The other kid Desmond, he never really was in school. Why? I dont know, but he was quiet from what I remember. All I know is that we had a blast as kids then growing up in NYC. We were in the streets playing and being a kid. It was the best. Whats crazy to me, is that the streets were worst then, then now and we ran them. Today its just not the same. Times are safer, but I wouldnt let my child in the streets to play alone. Its just not the same as then. Oh well! I would give anything to go back in time and live those days over. Yo Dee, your the last one I know that knew my moms and that she use to call me "Spunky". I hated that name with a passion and on top of it all, my moms had all the kids in the hood calling me that shit and now I miss it. Where did all that time go? Enjoy your life as much as you can & value the friends you have because nothing is for ever. This picture is the dopest Dee. Good looking on leaking it to the world. Much love to the P.S.87 gang.

Who Gets A Pass To Ride?

2009-05-19T09:05:00.002-04:00

From what I know about New York City, is that it is composed of many types of people from all walks of life. Some are born here, some travel across the globe and others have moved here from not so far away. I can remember NYC growing up as a place to come and make something of your self with nothing more then ambitions & dreams. If you worked hard and had that drive then you made it. Ol' Blue Eye's said it best "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere". What I love about the OLD NYC is that people brought there own way of life here to NYC and did not bother people with it, or at least not like now. What I mean is when these people came here they formed communities that can be enjoyed by all and not like the outta towners now who have made it impossible to enjoy what us true New Yorkers enjoy most. That is the big melting pot of NYC. This breed of new comers have really messed things up by not respecting whats already here. They tear every thing down and build the ugliest shit I've ever seen. Its all about money at the end of the day. Playgrounds & parks are gone and kids cant play in the streets like we use to growing up. NYC has become the dullest knife in the draw and has lost a lot of its driving force. That driving force is the people who are the Old New Yorkers who have a deep understanding of the balance that was created. It may seem like we are rude, loud and obnoxious, but its all for a reason. When it counts, we help one another and hold are communities together with a common bond & love we all share for this town full of nuts, assholes and crazies. Id rather deal with the crazy Jewish people, the loud Hispanics and all the different nut job communities there are in NYC then the outta towners who just dont get it. The different communities keep to them selves going about there business and not spilling over into my life. I might hate some of the shit they do, but at there the end of the day. They stay in there part of town doing them as I do me in my part of town. I believe, no matter how tough you are, there are places you just dont belong. 15 years ago I never thought I would see a white women walking a dog on 116 Lenox ave. 10pm at night in Harlem. They just didnt belong up there. Now they are every where. Fuck man! Go home. Its not just women, its men and its not just white people also. So the question is this, Who gets a pass and who does not? Well, I will tell you. Do you belong in that community? Do you know people that live there or have family there? Probably not, right? Your taking up space in a place you dont belong. Did you open up a Starbucks in the hood and why? Now your taking business away from the local mom & pop stores that support the communities and help the local people. I really hate all you fuckers for this! True story so you get no pass. Be out son! Because you have forced your way in to our communities, you have weakened them thus forth stripping my city of choice & individuality. And for the record, YES this is my motha fuck'n city. I have put the time in, blood sweat & and tears as well. Look im not saying I dont want people to come here or your not allowed and you are. Old New York was built by people with passion and preservation and the fact is most of then came here from some where else, but with respect and a sense of whats right. Those are the ones who get a pass. If you want in then dont move here because you watch Sex In The City or Friends and think thats what NYC is about. That was not the case until you you losers moved here with boat loads of money and made it that and who hangs out at the coffee shop all day with out working and thinks, oh its all good, no worries, everything will be ok. Get the fuck outta here wit that shit. I dont need to know about your life style and have it thrown in my face. I could care less. Keep that gay shit back where you came from. Now if you want to come here to better your self, make something of your boring life then learn the rules and our culture and help participate in preserving it for all so others after you can eat too. With all that said, you either get it or you dont so have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!

No Thanks To You, Thank You

2009-04-12T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well what can I say, A lot has happen since the last post as always when I return to make a new entry. This time all the changes are in the right direction. I am proud to say that I have started to do the things that I preach about so much to you. I have realized that I was giving out advice but not doing what I say. Well now I have finally figured it all out and Im tired of killing my self doing for others while they do nothing for me when I am down and out and need help. I have always said you need to do for your self first then others. For long time I did things for others then I did for me. It just does not work out well that way and it all lead to a massive melt down that I stopped before it got out of control. I have finally helped my self first and now I feel re-born. I gotta say I am so happy now in my life. It was hard to make the choices I have, but it was the right ones and it took years to make them. I had chose to stay where I was at and suffer deeply for the ones I love. I stayed thinking that it was my duty to be there in the way that I did until I crashed & burned one day. Mar. 06 was that day that apart of me died and was replaced with a new hope of life, My eyes was opened as if an angel came into my life and showed me how to love my self. I am glad to say for the first time in my life I really am in control and things for me are the best, but it is still not easy and there is a long road to travel. As I make my journey down this road, I have manage to grow a great deal, Learn a whole lot and pick up the tools I need to make it further in life and with all of this said. I am finally free. I am happy so so so very happy. I want to say thank you to the people who have helped me through this in the last month and you know who you are. I love you all for showing me the way, making it clear to me how I should be treated and letting me know its ok to love my self first. I now know who my true friends are to all the rest that are full of shit, GO FUCK YOUR SELF.

A Moment Of Clarity

2009-03-14T01:40:00.000-04:00

See, since the last time I wrote a whole lot of stuff has happen. In the last post I got a little personal and went off the deep end. Between then & now, I have had a moment of clarity and a juicy story to tell. I gave away some details in the last post and so now I will share the rest for you to enjoy. I have been writing about my emotions and not enough about the Old New York that I know and love so much. So here we go on a short trip. It was semi early in the night and I was charged from drinking and all wound up from arguing with some one. Next thing I know its time to roll to the next spot and I am off. We get in a cab and off we go. So I find my self popp'n shit at the red light as I am sitting in the back by the window on the left. I dont quite remember what I was saying, but some dude in the car next to me happen to look over and at that moment I had been looking his way. Then I tell him WHAT! Yeah I am talking about you, so what's good?. He got out the car and came over. I told this dude, yo, you wanna fight let me get out this cab as he then said some shit that Im not sure about. After that he went back to his car and the cab went. When we got to the next red light, I am talking to my man tell him how that dude was pussy. If that dude was real with it, he would of just reached in when I seen'em and got his in and then out of no where, I got punched in the eye by this fuck'n bitch ass dude. I got hit once and then I was like what the fuck and I got out the cab. He runs off and I catch him, so now I get my shots in, a couple to his grill and then it was like time stopped. Him and I are standing there looking around and then we went are separate ways. When we got to the bar I was fucking pissed off. I realize I had lost my cell phone and all I could think about is, Dam now I gotta go to work with a black eye and I have to tell'em I lost my phone. The phone is a work phone. Fuck it, I went back to get it and my man Bobbi Li came with me. On the way there I told him what had happen. I could not find my phone so we were waiting for a cab and when it came, I opened the door to get in and some homo rolls up talking about its his cab. He then starts squeezing the door on me and I told'em YO! you fucking with the wrong motha fucka son. Then his fruity side kick starts screaming in my face and when this happens, the light go off up stairs and I just react. So I let this clown have it with a right and he had the nerve to say some other shit after that. I had finally had enough so I dropped him with the left and as I walked off, I told'em they could have the cab and we walked back. If only I would have had an angle to save me that night. To take me away. Then I came back to reality and realized shit fool there are some of us that still do things the Old New York way. Since then I have cleared my mind some what, but Im still far from ok and I am trying to do something about, I have had A moment Of clarity & it all hit at once. All the good shit I have talked about on how to handle, get by and over come was out the window. I am in charge of my life. It all starts with me and it is time I take control. I am the one that sits in the driver seat and I shall drive this hoopty of life to the dealer ship & trade it in. The best thing about life is always the next day you awake, you can start over. To you non- New Yorkers and the fu-gazee's who clame to be a real New Yorker. Straight up! In order to qualify, you need to pay due's. You dont just come here and live life like look at me, yay! With ya fruit cup style and ways. Get your time in son. Gett'n robbed and into fights is what happens here growing up. All Old New Yorkers have paid due's one way or another. Whether it be a harsh up bringing in the streets or on drugs to being robbed or shot in the streets. What Im getting at is Old New Yorkers all have a pain that they have due to this place and with that pain we push on and become great people who over come and adapt. So now you chumps come here and water shit down, You have killed New York. The bad news is a lot of us are fed up with the bull shit. Losing jobs and being evicted and all kinds of shit. We are still here and you better look out because the strong eat the week. Learn your pain and play your roll or go home. Other wise you can have a go fuck your self sandwich with a glass of shut the fuck up. Good day sir!

Love Me Or Leave Me Alone!

2009-03-04T19:32:00.000-05:00

My world is crashing fast. Im losing a grip on the progress I have made & I really need to check my self. At least at this point, I do not feel the streets calling me nor do I want to be in them. I know deep down inside. The streets will be my death one day if I continue to go down that road. Really all I want is to be Loved, to feel wanted and to know that I make a difference in some ones life. The way things have been going in my life, I dont feel any of this and it is killing me. It really is starting to take its toll. Lately I find my self wanting to drink more and more. The crazy shit is I dont like to drink. I dont want to drink. After a long night of drinking, I awoke to a nice black eye & 2 swollen fists from putting the beats on someone last night. This is just not a good look for me. All the stuff that I talk about is just around the corner and I can see it coming like a Mack truck out of control coming at me, but I just can not seem to get out the way of that truck. This is the shit that is killing me the most. Not being able to change what I can foresee coming. It really is killing me. What I need is....... Is something to spark me. I just wish I knew what that spark is. Well the one thing that will come from all of this will be painting. have been making it a point to finish old paintings and start new ones as well. The weather will soon be warm and I plan to ride my skateboard once more. It is just too much fun to not do it and the exercise is good too. DAM! As I sit here writing this shit, my brain keeps replaying the night and it just does not seem real. I know its real because I got the eye to prove it and the swollen fist to show for it. Oh well,

As The World Looks In On Me

2009-02-16T14:58:00.001-05:00

As the world looks at me and makes their judgements, I sit here in pain trying to figure out a way to be heard. My cries for help have gone unnoticed and at this point I am way past self destruction. It has been quite some time since the last time I have wrote. This is an attempt to relieve my self the frustration, built up anger and misplaced emotions. For awhile things have been going well so I have not wrote. I have hit a wall, but now I find my self in an all too familiar place. A place that I just can not seem to escape from. I'll explain a little bit about what I am saying. Through out my life, it has been a roller coaster ride. I go up and then I go down. Things are fine in my life only for so long. Then I crash and burn, but the crazy shit is when I crash and burn. It becomes a time when I focus the best and everything comes into light for me. Things become clear only after all the smoke clears. I don't want to live my life like this because it is not good. I can see the pattern, but I just can't seem to change it. If I could only live life on a steady incline, then maybe I will have figured out how to maintain in life. If my life only consisted of me then it would be a piece of cake, but it does not. I have others I must take care of and make sure they have a roof over their heads and food on the table and with the way this economy is going, it's killing me between the both. Many day's have come to where I just don't want to get up and go to work or when I leave to go to work, I just want to keep driving right pass and never stop. I want to run far away and escape all, but deep down inside I could never do this because something inside of me won't let it happen know matter what for some reason. It's just the cloth that I am cut from. My problems never seem to go away and no one seems to answer my cries for help ever since the age of about 4. Pretty much since the age that I can remember anything. My closest friend is there as much as he can be, but how much can he do for me if he him self is fucked in the head as well. Other friends I have are just not as true as I thought so I choose not to have them in my life at this moment. What really hurts the most, is the one person I look to be there for me is not there. I can carry the world on my shoulders, but I too have my days where I come up short and fall on my face. All I ask is for that person to pick me up, dust me off and tell me "get back in the game & do not give up". So I guess what I am trying to say is my support system has lead me to wreck in the worst way that is really bad. I have lied, betrayed and deceived which in return has brought heart ache to all involved and much hurt. THIS IS NOT THE PERSON I AM or do I want to be, but when my cries go unanswered, I only know how to self destruct and then rebuild. The problem with that is the people around me are affected by this as well and quite honestly I don't know how many more time I can reset my self before I end up broken for good. Also I wind up hurting other around me or involved and that is more pain for me to deal with. It is more pain for me because I can not bare the fact of being responsible for the hurt I have caused others. I know all too well and how it feels to hurt bad deep down inside. I also know It does not give me the right to do it to others. I am a creature of habit as most of us are. What I am trying to get at is the way I guard my self, it's a system I can not control anymore. It has become instinct like the mean streets of old NYC to me. I raised my self up out the gutter so I know life only one way. I have managed to make some changes and adapt to somethings the way we are suppose to, but I can not seem to reprogram my brain to do everything the right way. My misfortune is the streets. I know them all too well and can not seem to let go of them. One day it will be my down fall. Some of you who read this now what I am talking about and others will only be left to imagine what I am talking about. On the out side and in the eyes of the public I appear to have it together and be a productive person in life. What you don't know is there is a flip side to that, an alter ego that I battle everyday. I do not have a personality disorder or anything of the sort, but I do live a double life and that double life has been my escape from my issues from very early on and to this day is the only way I know how to get away from my problems. I do know that professional help would do a lot and that I need it more then ever. It has been in my life as well from an early age and I do know it is nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing but good comes from it and when I can get some again, I will welcome It with open arms. The one thing I have had in the past as well, were friends that are willing to listen, but for some reason there not here for me like that anymore. That's how I have been left to feel. At this point, I'm really fucked up with emotions running wild and thoughts of suicide, but not to alarm anyone because that WILL NOT HAPPEN. I have already tried it and I know that does not solve anything. Plus I have worked too hard to throw it all away and I do not want to be remembered as the person who took the pussy way out. I want to die with my honor & soul intact. I do believe I have been put here on this earth for a reason. I am built to go through the pain and suffering so that I may pass the lessons in life on to those who are not built for it, but it is all up to you to learn from my mistakes and lessons I pass on to you. I wish I would have listened to my elders and the ones who have tried to pass wisdom and knowledge on to me. Instead I was stubborn and had to learn for my self. We all go through bad things in life and we all fail, but at the end of the day it is up to us not to repeat the mistakes we make, learn from them and move forward from them. Unfortunately some of us can only learn the hard way and others do not learn at all.

Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down

2008-09-21T16:24:00.000-04:00

Growing up in NYC was no joke. People got their ass beat all the time and most likely it was deserved. Fighting was a normal thing in the mean streets of Old New York as long as it was kept to duking it out. Every now and then, People need to get an ass beat'n just because they wont learn any other way. Some people are too rude, too cool or just plain stupid. In this day and age you cant even spit in someones direction with out the other person pressing charges. Another thing about things the way they are today is teenagers need they ass beat ass well. Kids these days lack respect for the elder and think that they are tough shit. They think an adult wont give them a little beat down. I will. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying to kill some one or put them in the hospital. Just a simple beat'n, thats what they need. It seems to be the parents aint doing their job so I'd be willing to help'em out with a swift kick to the seat of their pants of these bad ass kids. I tell you boy, some of the people at work can get it as well, thinking they know it all and that they are the shit. I do construction work for a living and the people I work with are all a lot older so in their eyes im young and I dont know shit. But the case is this.... I have 12 years of experience so that equates to me knowing a little something I would say. These older fucks need a beat'n as well. The crazy shit is half of the old kooks I work with do a half ass job and I find it funny that they think their work is top notch. A lot of these people in NYC who are transplants really need a beat'n. They move here to NY and they think its all sweet. They think NYC revolves around them and that the are whats hip. Well I got news for them, Its not sweet. Especially the ones that are moving into the hood where it is bad or close by. Yo shit that kills me as well is when your sitting on the train and you got that half empty seat next to you and then some fat ass comes and sits in it, on top of that the train is crowded and they are reading the paper all stretched out across into your personal space. Well guess what. They can get a beat'n as well too. And the list goes on but I think you get my point. So dont be afraid to serve some chump a beat'n if it is what he deserves. As True Old New Yorkers we reserve the right to serve someone a beat'n that has it coming to them!

No Title For This One!

2008-09-08T16:37:00.000-04:00

One thing that I miss about Old New York is some of the places I would go to be alone. Growing up as a kid we all had secret places we would go and hang out. Well for me..... my place was in River Side Park and it was a great place. A place were it was all open and you had not a worry in the world. It was old and full of trash and all kinds of junk. Since I really had no friends growing up I found my self spending all my time here. This place had old iron piers to climb on and just open land to wander through. Old New York use to have many places that was abandoned and this was one of them. Now everything in New York City just about has been developed leaving nothing to be explored for kids. Not like the city plans things like this but as a kid its fun to go and snoop where you dont belong. To this day I come back to look at the little bit that remains, not much of it but it will do with the way New York is now. What I hate most is having to share this place with others, the public. When I played here it was just me and a few others and the homeless. Donald Trump has bought the land years ago and has developed it and has brought here all the kinds of people I hate. There is nothing I can do about it now so I will have to settle for the all pictures I have of this place and my memories. When I was here yesterday and I was climbing out on these piers and stuff, all the people walking by were looking and pointing like if I was way out of line but you know what fuck'em I was here first and this is my place. People in New York seem to turn there heads a lot quicker these days for all the wrong reasons. I guess its because there not from here. Growing up, people wouldnt even bat an eye. Dam how the times have changed and boy do I hate'em.

Unwanted, Unloved & Alone

2008-08-30T19:14:00.000-04:00

The worst feeling in the world is to feel unwanted, unloved & alone. With the job that I have, it makes me feel this way a lot because im left with too much time to think. On my long drives to the different places I work and lonely nights in random hotels, it drives me nuts. The money is good but it comes with a steep price to pay. I know I have good people in my life that love me but it doesnt always feel that way. Being a strong person is not easy. Although I would not change a day in my life and the things I went through, I miss my mother. I really do. As a little kid I found self alone crying my self to sleep almost every night. As an adult I find my self feeling the same way at times. Most of the time I feel like I dont belong in this world and it is not for me. No one understands my pain is how I feel and I hate it when people ask " How are you doing"? Do you really want to know ? Im not doing good, I can barely get by and when I get ahead I get knocked back down so now that you know, what are you going to do to help since you have asked? Nothing right! So dont ask. Suicide often enters my mind but I know it is not an option. I know this because I have already made an attempt on my life. I tried to hang my self or rather I did hang my self. It was in my room where I did it and the people I was living with came in to get me for dinner. They saw me hanging and they cut me down before my final moment. I have grown older & wiser since then and I have learned a lot from it. I now know that it is not the answer and that it was stupid. I hate having to walk the path of life as if all was ok. Well it is not. We in some way or another are all fucked up with are own problems so why cant people just be honest and face reality. I know it is easier said then done but you people are killing me with all that sugar coated bullshit. With that said, dont scape goat me with that shit. Put the blame on your self where it belongs or find some other sucker for it. Just man up and deal with it. In order to do so I say you need to take care of your self 1st, then you can move on. I have been through it all with a mother that shot dope, smoked crack to her fucking dudes for money. I spent 18 years of my life in the foster care system all through the 80's into the late 90's. The 80's was there worst. The places I have lived were horrible. I was beaten all the time, locked in the closet for days with no food and a lot of other unmentionable shit that no one should ever have to go through in their life. Some how I grew up into a healthy adult and I have beat my odds. I have learned from all it and I have built my foundation of life right on top of it all. I am still trying to figure out life as I move on. It is a fucked up cold world out there and a very lonely place with out good people in your life. So with that said, I ask God to grant me the strength to make it another day. I know I must push on because there is something great ahead for me that I am destined to find. Now let me leave you with this before I go (food for thought).

Judge me not by the times I have been knocked down but by how many times I have gotten back up. We are all knocked down in our lives. You must find it in your self as a New Yorker to keep getting back up and to push forward. It is what being a New Yorker is all about. OLD NEW YORK 1976

Eat The Rich

2008-08-25T14:01:00.000-04:00

In this world that we live in, its become harder and harder to live. The rich get richer and the poor get poor'. As I was growing up in New York I had less then normal. My mother could not provide and my father was no where to be found. The homes that I lived in gave me next to nothing and so this lead to me having to fend for my self. I have always had a job since the legal age of working. The jobs that I had just did not provide enough money to take care of my self. I did not have to pay rent, but I had to get my own clothes and food for my self and money to ride the train. So as I worked, I also got my hustle on at a young age. I did what I had to in order to take care of my self. Its nothing to be proud of or brag about, but it was my reality. Now that I am older, I do not have to do those things or at least you would think right? Well, the truth is as the world turns, the greedy get more greedy and this creates a gap for the honest man to get ahead in life. As the honest man struggles to live, he falls behind because the greedy snatch up all thats in site. This is my dilemma, I am trying to live my life the right way now that I am older but I am faced with people in my everyday life that make it too hard and sometimes being honest gets you last place. I hate it. I hated living my early life like this and watching my mother live her life like this too. Well, I am a strong person and I will do what I have to do to get by. I will not let the next man take my opportunities away from me. One day, hopefully this rat race will come to an end and I can live a better more full filled life. I am happy at least for where I am in life but I will not settle for 2nd best. I know I have it in me to fight all the way and beat all these people at their own games and when that day comes, I'll be like I told you so. I have already had days like that in my life and there will be more to come. So to all the hard working honest people, dont give up and play other peoples games to win. The best is when you beat a cheater at his own game. Send him on his way and claim what is rightfully yours. Our day will come sooner then later. Keep fighting and keep Old New York alive!

I Love NY

2008-08-21T21:19:00.000-04:00

I cant stand seeing all these fuckin' non New Yorkers wearing I heart NY shits. Its another thing stolen from us True New Yorkers. It use to hold a lot of lbs with me. Now, that shit is just watered down like a lot of other meaningful things that was jacked. Well I am here to say New York Dont Love You! Get that threw ya fuckin head. You have done nothing to love it or preserve it. You did not help raise it nor do you know its deep pains. That shit aint something you sport or try to rock. That shit is a straight badge of honor. It really did hold meaning to a lot of people. I wish there was something I could do to stop it. It really drives me crazy, but I can see whats going on and it doesnt look good for you people who just do not belong here in NY. Keep moving into the outskirts of the hood, pushing your way in and stripping them of there culture and neighborhood shops. Times are changing fast and they're getting rough. Crime is on the rise and so is murder. Nigga's is startin' to get tight son! And its only a matter of time that the 80's & 90's make a come back and then its a wrap. The outta towners are fish food in a world like this which will make them the 1st to go. In the movie Taxi, Robert Dinero says something about a good rain washing the scum away. Well I wish a good rain would come and wash all the hipsters, art fags, outta towners that think their cool and everyone else who doesnt belong. I know it some hateful shit, but its also fucked up the effect these people have created. In an already hard place to live, these people have sucked up all opportunities that was out there for the less fortunate. They have also changed our culture into the following of the clowns. What I want to know is who let them decide what was hip and what isnt. This shit is getting too far out of control. Like I said in the beginning, New York Dont Love You so stop milking this bitch and go home.

Where The Fuck Is My Day At?

2008-08-19T22:49:00.000-04:00

This post will be different then the others, tonight I feel the need to vent and just let go for a minute. Everyday of my life is tougher then the next. I keep asking my self. When is it going to get easier for me? But, that day has yet to show it self. Dont get me wrong! I have made life the best it can be compared to where it started out. Thats when I start thinking to my self while I am staring at others and make my judgement of each and everyone that walks by. Im good at this, trust me! I see so many people that have life well for them, these people do not know of real pain. Not like I know it. What kills me is they have done nothing to deserve where they are in life. Now it all starts making me think about me. Where the fuck is my day at? When will It show it self? I have been asking this question since I was 9 years old.I can remember the day as if it was yesterday. I came home from school and I was upset. The other kids was making fun of me, because of my mom. She smoked crack and the other kids knew it. Man, can kids be cruel. When I had gotten home, no one was there. I just laid in bed and ask God "why me why me". I just wanted a normal life. This was the first time that I asked where was my day. Why so young asking? I will tell you why! Because I had already been to hell and back, yup thats right. See when I was 4 I was taking away by BCW and put in a foster home. I had no clue to what had happened or even why. So from 4 to the age of 9 I lived in over 30 different homes. I wont get into that. Day after day in my life has been more then a battle. Others have chapters of shit in there life, I have novel's beyond belief. I lost my mother when I was 14 years old and this really pushed me over the edge. Whats so fucked up is that I knew this day was any day now. The last time I talked to my mother, I told her fuck you and to die. When I found out she had passed. I had realised I never hated my mother. I broke down into tears. The loss was like no other and thats when I realised I fucked up. The way I ended with my mom and that I would never get her back, to say sorry or that I do love you or any other such. In high school, I was going crazy as well. I just couldnt get along with the people I lived with. I felt like a complete outsider with a whole separate set of rules for me other then their own kids. Thats a fucked up way to feel? Once again I have battled my way through this one as well. In my more recent years, I have faced an eviction that was painful. Wrongful at that to make it hurt a little more. The apartment was old to begin with. No matter how much you cleaned, there were roaches and mice. One day here comes a new owner of the building with a hidden agenda. He came around in the beginning to see what needed to be fixed so I asked him to change the cabinets in the kitchen. The old ones where over 30 years old. The had bad water damage to them. The shit just needed to be replaced. Long story short, he told me do it my self and so I did. Thats when he got me! He evicted me on the grounds of making changes to the apartment with out consent. I had to change'em. Once it was all changed, the roaches and mice went away as well. To really ad insult to injury, I lost my job and I was in a car accident. Shit just really went down hill bad. All this during none other then good 'ol Christmas. So you see what I am saying. Where the fuck is my day! I have been through it all and I am still standing. I value my life and my struggles. They have made me the person I am today. It has given me character and honer. I have done more then my part for my life to be a little less difficult. I am greatful for my life and then I start to think about that. Despite me not getting my day, I can at least go to sleep at night knowing who I am and I am proud of that. My mother use to say all the time "be careful of what you ask, You just might get your wish" and she is so right. So until that day comes, I will keep pushing forward as all true New Yorkers do.

My Mother & Father

2008-08-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

This here is my Father & Mother and of course me. What I love most about this picture, is the time frame it is from. These 2 pictures are taken in 1977. I love that everything is so so drab and dull. The flatness of color matches the mood of that time and emotion just pours right off the picture. Now why did I say emotion? Because you would never know how fucked up these 2 adults really were and to make matters worse, they had me & my sister. Growing for my mother was a horror story alone. She is the last generation of an orphan. My Mother never made it past 3rd grade because she was forced to work like wash clothes and dishes at a young age. Im not sure what happened through her teen years, but I can imagine that my mother one day said "fuck it, enough is enough" judging by her character. Rene (my moms) had found the streets and never left them. My experience growing up under her roof is pretty fucking out there. Ive seen her con game, her clepto side, her drunk/drugs side and the best of all was the mother deep down inside. My mother was the best mother of all. she always took care of me and made sure I ate. She always talked to me and would say things like dont be a follower. Be a leader and stay away from this and that because its bad. She really cared about me and did the best she could, but the reality of it all was quite nasty. She was fucked up on shooting dope and smoking crack. Renee stayed drinking beer and popping pills on the way back from her program (methadone clinic). Back in the 80's, My mother took me to just about every dope spot there was in Manhattan and boy was I frightened as a little kid. as I got a little older, Moms would keep me out to all hours of the night. Her hang out was a place called Needle Park on the Upper West. The people who hung out here were, trannys, weed pushers, junkies and all other low lifes. Here in needle park is where I have started my life as a pupil, not to have realised the valuable lessons soon to be learned. Although my Mother had a lot of problems in the short amount of time we spent together, it was rich in knowledge, love and life saving lessons. To this day I hold those things she has said in my heart and live my life by it. All the things I learned from my Mother is what I have built my foundation of life on. Mom I love you and your always with me. I know I have made you proud! As for my father. Another loser. He had his shit together a little better. He was quiet and he did not a dam thing. I dont know too much about him, but what I do know is this. He has served his country honorably in Nam. Then he was a Postal worker. I always wondered what had gone wrong. You know, besides the drugs and shit. I am amazed that my parents made it 4 years that I know about. I did just find out that my father was married before he met my mom and just dipped on his 1st family, That makes sense why they hated my mom, Meaning my Fathers family. My dad was not around much. I remember going down to my moms program down on 23rd st at Belvue hospital and we would always run into my Father. This is because he was living in a mens shelter at the V.A. hospital. I remember a few times I saw him then he vanished into thin air. I gotta say this! Im not mad at him. I dont blame him for leaving although it is not right to do. In his case he could not take care of him self so how can he take care of someone else. The only thing I ever want from him was to find him and let him see who his son has become. Someone to be proud of. I wanted to let him know more then anything ever that I was not mad at him. I never got that chance though. I come across information that he just passed away not to long ago. I do not regret one moment of them being by parents. I have learned a lot from them about how not to be and how to raise a child the right way and for this I am thankful for that. Also what has made my mother such a great person was her growing up in NYC. My Mother & Father are both from Puerto Rico, but grew up here in NYC.
The Old New York as I once knew it, Made a man out you. It gave you much character and a back bone. Old Blue Eyes said it best "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere".

Now that I am older I wish my mother was still around. You dont realise what you have until its gone.

The Realist Old New Yorker I Know!

2008-08-02T03:49:00.000-04:00

This here is Thaddius (Teddy) and by no contest, he is the Real Deal to the fullest. Man, there is so much to talk about that I dont know where to begin. I will start by saying I have the privilege of working w/ him. The stories he has are something like the movie Big Fat Liar, but his are true. He has honor, loyalty, a BIG heart and he is sharp with it. Dont be fooled by the one eye and his age. This guy works circles around younger people. His knowledge is like an encyclopedia. He is originally from L.E.S. and he just turned 77. He has time in the service like almost every true America his age. He has many years working for the M.T.A and he has retired from the F.A.A. As we work, we're all cracking jokes and right along side is Ted and he gets his in as well. This man has that good old New York dry sarcastic humor. Not until just recently I just started to fully understand it and I hold it close to me. Any ways one thing I really liked that he said was" I like the ways of the Indians, They saw the land to be owned by no one, to take care of it and it will take care of you". That is so true. He is always willing to help people out, but also quick to send them on their way with that bull shit. He told me as a kid, he would come home from school and tell his dad" dad, the teacher hit me" then he said that his dad would whack him too. If the teacher did it, he must of deserved it. Thats something that is missing in are culture. Im not saying beat the kid, but a good ol' spanking. You know, when we say try & walk in some else's shoes, I only hope to come close to him. I guess the reason why I am writing about him is because I have grown to hold him dear. He reminds me a lot of my grandpa. I feel like I am getting a second chance to spend time with him and that is something that does not come around to often in life. Ted can never replace my grandpa, but only help to make my memories of my grandpa fresh in my head & relive them. Thank you Ted.

Shakespearean Jackasses

2008-07-31T15:42:00.000-04:00

Boy do I have a story for you, I was in the park last Saturday for a little get together and one of the guys had brought along a very small amp and his guitar. After about 15 minutes or so, some people come over and said "hey guys, do you think you can keep it down just a little bit please, we are trying to put on a play for the community". The fucking nerve of these people. This absolutely left me dumb founded and insulted. 1st off, the people putting on the play were not even from this neighborhood and the people that were watching it did not speak english, well maybe a little bit. See my neighborhood is filled with South American people and Asians. Most of them do not speak english. These people that were in the park putting on the play were transplants from Idaho or some shit who now live in Park Slope. They really had no biz in the park that they were in. They needed to take that shit to Prospect park. I still can not believe the nerve they had coming over and asking us to be quiet. It was wrong on so many levels that I dont even know where to start. I mean its the park. Its for everyone and this is not even there community. Dont you need a permit or some shit to hold court in the park like that? The crazy shit is if this was like 5 years ago they would have gotten all there shit took by the Latin Kings. This park use to be there main hang out. And here you have Biff and Jenifer putting on a play thinking that it is all good in this park. Nobody wants these people here. As I keep saying in all my other posts, ONE MORE EXAMPLE of us losing are community to people who do not belong here. I wanted to throw water balloons at them, but it took 5 minutes too long to finally get my nerve up and when I did, some of the people in my group went over and told them in a nice way, hey look. The park is for everyone so knock that shit off. At this point they were wrapping up their play so I lost my chance. Dam I was disappointed. I had filled up 10 water balloons and I was ready for war. Next time I wont wait so long. You know, there is a golden rule of thumb that needs to be shared and that is.... There are some places you just do not belong ,no matter how tough you are or who you are. If you dont have a reason to be there then you do not belong there and that goes for all over the world. Thats why a lot of times people get hurt. By the way, Nico if you are reading this, thanks for the title of this post and being the person you are. The world need more people like you homes and how about that beer!

Who Are Your Friends?

2008-07-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

Growing up in NYC, I would see strange people in the neighborhood on a regular basis and after a while it just became a normal thing. For the most part they didnt really bother anyone, they were just an eye sore at worst. As I got older, I got to know some of these people. Some were Nam vets, homeless, crack heads and some of them were just out of there fucking skull. The one thing that they did all have in common, is that they all had a really good story to tell. My mother had this one friend, he was about in his late 60's early 70's. They called him Bird Man. He got this name because he would hide in door ways where you couldnt see him if you were walking by. His thing would be to jump out behind people and scare the shit out of him by making loud & crazy bird noises. To me at that age, I thought it was funny as hell and to this day I still laugh my ass off. The crazy thing was you could talk to him like if he wasnt crazy and he could hold a normal conversation with you, But in reality he was fucked up in the head. There was another dude in my neighborhood that was old as well. About the same age and this guy would roll through the hood on skates and a tennis racket in his hand. Why he had the racket? God only knows. I would see him every where I went. One thing that sticks out in my head about him is..... I was in McDonald's getting some food on 71 st & Bway and he was in there trying to rap to the girl behind the counter. He told here can I have a sunday on a Monday and I thought that was the funniest thing ever. He was definitely a kook. Then there was this homeless lady (bag lady) who had a I Love Lucy hair cut and she also rock'd two pairs of glass'. As a kid I really could not understand any of this. It was all bazaar. She would always be screaming and cursing. Saying things in German and she was always hanging in P.S.87 school yard where I would hang out and play as a kid. The other kids would throw things at her to watch her flip out. Now that Im older I know it wasnt right (not that I through things at her). Whats really crazy is that as I got older These were the people that I became friends with because I had no friends. All the other kids didnt want to play with me because my mother was fucked up on drugs so they all made fun of me (its all good). It got to the point where I would walk down the Upper West Side and all the bums, people selling books, pan handlers and homeless knew me. I would walk by and they would say shit like "yo spunky, you ok? here... here's a dollar and stay out of trouble). Spunky was my moms pet name for me and everyone knew me by it in the hood. I hated it them, but I miss it now. By being friends with all these wack jobs (because thats what they were) it helped in a weird way guide me through life. I miss that feeling of being able to walk down the street and everyone knowing me. Thats just more proof of our communities disappearing. Once and a while when I return to the old hood, I still see some of those people around and its crazy because they know me from my daughters age and she will be right there with me when I run into these people. At some point things will always come full circle.

Coney Island Pictures

2008-07-26T03:09:00.001-04:00

Last Ride!

2008-07-26T02:32:00.000-04:00

Tonight I saw something that made me pleasantly surprised. I have found a place were it's nothing but real New Yorkers right down to the bone. A place where people came to let loose and have some good Summer fun. Now I always knew about it, but only now have I rediscovered Coney Island. Before in the past I would have never noticed, but to come to the conclusion that NYC is dieing fast. I realised I forgot all about Coney Island. People of all sorts were there letting it all hang out. The freaks, families, teenagers and the homeless. And in the midst of it all while I was waiting for my family to get off the Tilt O' World. It hit me! I didnt see one person that looked like a fashion disaster or someone try'n to be who they were not. No outta towners and no tourists. It was like a moment of clarity were everything made sence. Pure bliss. There was one dude who was in a skirt and a skimpy top w/ the tits stuffed.

He was dancing his ass off and enjoying him self. He didnt bother any one and no one bothered him. Never the less people were entertained and he enjoyed it. It was the perfect summer night with my family. It's only a matter of time before thats took en too from us. For now, Im gonna take it all in one last time before its gone. I treasure the pictures I have taken it the past years. You can strip me of my city, but you will not take away my memories and what lies in my heart and soul.

The Independent Man Will Soon Be Gone!

2008-07-23T00:36:00.000-04:00

In my eyes New York was at one time a full contact sport. Everything was physical. From the way things were made to the people that made em and of course the people who lived it everyday. People really did care for one another and took an interest in the things they came across in everyday life. Now with all the outta towners that have moved here, they have severed a lot of communities with gentifing the neighborhoods. They have moved to the hoods in the mass driving up the rents and forcing people to leave. With the mass' moving here, they have brought along corporate America. Now, people cant afford the rent and are forced out of business. Who wants to really shop in an over crowded store with people who have no interest in who you are or may be not willing to let you go for $.50 because you dont have it. Last I thought (which can be dangerous) New York was a melting pot. You can go to a store and by things from your country. Variety was key and it was authentic. Mom & Pop hardware store's with owner's who cared about there communities. Let me ask you this? Who the fuck orders domino's pizza when NYC has the best pizza hands down. I just dont get it man! Its one of the things that connected communities together. With the death of many things in NYC. Are choices, diversity and are communities are being robbed faster then crack heads suck tokens out of turn styles. In my heart New York is a thing of the past and it kills me. At least when I return to the Upper West, I can go into Big Nicks and look at the dude and he says " whats up brotha, how you? good?" Man, thats a great feeling especially when he knows me since 1988 because thats how long he's been there. The doorman on 77st right off Bway, he knows me just as long too and now I return to visit with my own kid. Its bugged out, but its what NYC was all about. Now a days nobody knows nobody and nobody says anything to anyone. New York has be come a gay ass sterile place in the rest of corporate America along with a soft Times Sq. looking like fucking Disney and shit. IDUNO man, I cant call it, but as long as I am still here in NYC, I will keep that old blood flowing with my crew.

This Use To Be A Great Country

2008-07-20T14:09:00.000-04:00

In my eyes the United States once was a really great country. Now I dont know what to call it. Dont get me wrong, its still a place I want to live, but its just not the same place I once really loved. I spent 8 years in the Navy for my country. Even in the military, things are not the same. When I was in the service at 1st, it was all about taking care of your people. Towards the end nobody cared about anybody and your family was put second. As for this country, we use to build great products that lasted and we stood behind the things we made with a certain pride. People really stood up for one another and now no one really cares about the next person. Its funny, growing up I use to think Al Sharptin was douche. Now that I am older and he is still around, how ever you feel about him, he is still here and he is the same person sticking up for human rights. He is one of the last like this. I just dont see this country coming together for the greater good of man kind. Kids are out of control thinking they can do what they want. Adults cant even correct these out of control kids. You will wind up getting shanked. I tell you boy...... When I was growing up and an adult said "hey what are you doing, stop that", you listened and if the adult knew your mom or dad. You were done if they told your parents. If it was not a fixed object in the house, I might of got it up side the head. These days if you say something to the parents, the parents are like "who the fuck are you and what are you doing with my kid". Its bad out here. It doesnt seem like anybody is accountable any more. The country has gotten greedy, everything is done for the love of money and not for the passion. Buildings look like shit that they are putting up and they are made out of paper. There was a time not to long ago when every job involved a skill. Even with advertisements on the side of buildings, they were hand painted. There are periods of architecture that dont exist any more because its all being torn down for monstrosities that are eye sores in my city's sky line. I could go on for days about this, but I will say this! Its all about to come back and bite us in the ass now with inflation, gas and the way things are going. All your fancy buildings that us true New Yorkers cant afford are not being filled. The economy is about to crash and the ugly head of the gully 80's & 90's is about to rear it self once more and for all you non New Yorkers (thats you! the hipsters art fags and outta towners) that think its sweet, you will become food. Keep moving closer to the hood forcing people out and breaking up there communities. Us old New Yorkers will not take it much longer. So beware and you have been warned.

R.I.P. Washington Sq Fountain

2008-07-19T23:52:00.000-04:00

This shit really mad me MAD as fuck. I could care less for what ever is built here after the fact. This city soon will have all its history ripped out and the things that matter most to us true New Yorkers as well. This is was a place for people with all kinds of an interests and also a place where people would make a living . For me personally it was a place of many memories like others. They are of good times and bad times. I remember this hispanic dude who is a NYC legend, at least in my eyes. He used to jump garbage cans from one skate board to another. Like 8 or 9 of them. The dude was nice with it and got paid. I my self used to skate here often with many people (R.I.P. Harold & Justin) who are True legends. I can remember one time skating with them and a whole bunch more. I herd a loud pop pop pop and I had thought it was gun shots like an m16 or something, but what it was, was an old lady had lost control of her car and hit a lot of benches with people on them. It was horrible, one man was with out a head another with a metal pipe from the fencing through his throat and many more fucked up. Still in all, this was a place where the best come to play chess and still do, a place where people gathered for the pot day parade and to kick politics in there own way through music and in other ways. Now that the fountain is gone. It just another thing lost in the New York that I once knew.

Old New York

Summers In NYC

2008-07-19T19:24:00.000-04:00

Growing up in NYC, this is what the summer was all about as a kid. You went out side and played. As a kid, we were never bored. We would make up games and make use of everything in the city from old matters' to flip on to riding the back of the out side train car. Growing up in NYC used to be fun. These days, you cant do much with all the rules they have come up with or rather that they enforce now. At least kids can still crack open the pump. Its a shame kids stay glued to the tv and computer playing games getting fat.

True New Yorker

2008-07-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hello to the world, I'm new to this but I have Mad knowledge.

This is my 1st post so bare with me and since that is the case I will start with an intro about me! Who I am is not important, but what I gots to say is. I'm born in 1976 and I have lived here my whole life in NYC. I'm from a very broken home and have seen just about all NYC has to give and I have been apart of a lot of it. So what I talk about is from the heart and soul of a TRUE NEW YORKER from the gutter. You may agree or you may not, but we are all in titled to what we think (thats why this is the USA).

I have seen many changes and I have been apart of some. I have beat the odds against me in life. Why I dont know. Maybe fate, but anyways I do know I have GREAT stories and pictures. So stay tuned and you wont be disappointed. I will pick up another time. Peace to all my TRUE NEW YORKERS.

One Love, Old New York 1976